


The Archives Squad Group Chat

by TheRealCharlie



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff, Other, chatfic, kind of slice of life???, more tags to be added as i come up with them, no one in the archives is cis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:20:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29927106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealCharlie/pseuds/TheRealCharlie
Summary: There is an archives group chat. Shenanigans will, eventually, ensue.This is just something I wrote for fun and wanted to share! Updates will probably be a bit unpredictable.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	1. Jon is invited to the pub, and experiences an emotion.

The Archives Group Chat  👻📝

(Wednesday afternoon)

Jon: it has come to my attention that some of my coworkers thing spreading rumors about me is funny. 

Jon: So, to clear things up. My personal life is none of your business, and so is my social life. My preferences of pizza topping are not that big of a deal. (Looking at you, Tim.) and no, the cat on my favorite mug is not mine (anymore). 

Tim: u say that like we aren’t ur only social life... 

Sasha: okay ill bite. what’s the tragic cat backstory 

Jon: I co-owned the Admiral with my (now ex-) girlfriend. She took him in the breakup, which was probably for the best. 

Martin: can i ask why you broke up? 

Jon: it’s would be highly unprofessional of me to talk about this sort of thing in the work groupchat. 

Tim: it’s would be 

Sasha: it’s would be 

Martin: it’s would be 

Tim: get his ass 

Jon: I don’t understand what’s happening. Is this some kind of inside joke? 

Tim: sad little old man doesn’t know what it’s like to be in a group chat.  😔 this is so sad 

Jon: I’ll have you know this is far from my first group chat. 

Sasha: this is so sad honestly. Jon you are legally required to come with us for drinks of Friday 

Jon: on whose authority? im not ‘legally’ required to do anything you tell me to do 

Martin: Jon will you please come?  🥺

Tim: ...just heard a big sigh come from Jon’s office... not to get anyone’s hopes up but he might have been swayed by the cute emoji 

Sasha: whoa there jon you’ve been typing for awhile there everything good? 

Jon: alright, I’ll come. I will complain the whole time and make everyone else miserable. But I’ll be there. Happy?

Tim: awe Jon youll have a lovely time I’m sure. and even if it sucks at least we’ll all get to have a sucky night together :) solidarity 

Martin: as long as you leave the attitude behind <3 

Martin: as well as your work! do NOT bring work to the pub 

Jon: okay

Tim: Martin i think you broke him. There’s just silence coming from his office. none of the usual shuffling papers and mumbling... 

Martin: i know it was rude :/ but it needed to be said! he’s been pretty nasty to me on several occasions and i know he’s better than that! 

Martin: I just. i dunno 

Sasha: no no no i totally get it. working in the archives had really brought out the mean in him i think 

Tim: guys i just checked on jon. he was sitting at his desk with his head down and when i tried to ask him if he was alright he just told me to go away... not sure what’s going on but he dosent seem happy 

Sasha: dosent 

Tim: you know what i mean. 

Sasha: he’ll be fine don’t worry about it 

Sasha: i can pm him if it’ll make u feel better martin 

Martin: its okay, sasha, really 

Jon: I appreciate the concern, but I would appreciate you all getting back to work even more. 

Tim: love you too bestie  💕


	2. In which Sasha oversleeps, and Tim is worried.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing really important happens in this one. I just wanted to write some low-stakes stuff and had fun with it!

The Archives Group Chat  👻📝

(Thursday morning) 

Tim: anyone seen sasha? i haven’t heard from her and im worried abt my girl  😥

Martin: you saw her yesterday... 

Tim: yeah but i haven’t seen her since then and i miss her  😢

Jon: I haven’t heard from Sasha this morning, but I’ll let you know if I do. 

Tim: ugh thank u so much jon ily 

Jon: What does “ily” stand for? 

Tim:  😳 it means I love you 

Jon: I appreciate the sentiment. Now can you please get back to work? 

Tim:  😔 okay...... 

Martin: tim why the pesive face? 

Martin: *pensive 

Tim: he didn’t even say ily back...  😢

Jon: You are absolutely ridiculous, Tim. 

Jon: ily too. Are you happy now? 

Sasha: sorry I’m gonna be a bit late this morning!!!

Tim: SASHA!!!  💗💞💗💝💖💞💗💘💞💘💗💘💞💗💘💖💞

Sasha: back reading the chat rn and Tim I’m flattered u were so worried. im fine tho, I’ll be right there! 

Sasha: for the record Jon i also love u <3 it’s not ur fault the only emotion you can express is irritation <3 

Jon: I’m not sure whether this is supposed to be a compliment or an insult. 

Sasha: irs a compliment <3 i love u and your many flaws. as soon as i get to the archives I’m gonna give you a big hug... you cannot escape it... it is inevitable 

Tim: irs 

Martin: irs 

Sasha: *it’s 

Jon: Typo aside, this is one of the most threatening messages I think I’ve ever received... 

Tim: only one of? implying you’ve received MORE threatening messages???

Sasha: I’m going to have to up my game... by any means necessary... 

Jon: Sasha please don’t do that. 

Martin: sasha please only threaten Jon with love and kindness 

Sasha: and murder? 

Jon: Please refrain from murdering people. Lying to the police would be a lot of hassle I would prefer to avoid. 

Tim: jon how much experience do you have lying to the police??? 

Jon: What are you, a cop? 

Tim: fair. 

Sasha: im almost at the archives <3 jon, brace yourself 

(Thursday afternoon) 

Martin: I’m at the cafe, any requests? 

Tim: black coffee with one shot of the caramel flavoring please 

Sasha: do they have sandwiches? 

Martin: yeah i can send a pic of the menu if you’d like 

Martin: [image: a cafe menu. They have sandwiches and desserts and stuff.] 

Sasha: oooh I’ll get a BLT 

Sasha: please and thank you! 

Jon: If it’s not too much trouble, could you get me a ham sandwich? 

Martin: Sure thing jon! 

Jon: Thanks. 

Martin: just ordered! it’ll be just a minute 

Tim: thank you so much martin ily  💕

Martin: it’s really no big deal. you’re welcome 

(late Friday afternoon) 

Tim: Jon you are still coming with us to the pub right? 

Jon: Yes, I’ll be there. 

Sasha: good because if you try to resist i WILL resort to using force 

Jon: That will not be necessary. 

Tim: really delivering on the promise of being more threading aren’t you, Sasha? 

Sasha: i have to be responsible for the most threatening message Jon has ever received. I have to 

Jon: Good luck with that, I guess...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jon voice. fine I guess you are my little pogchamp  
> I think sasha deserved better honestly. Like we barely even got to know her before she got yoinked by the table....  
> Oh! Also! Please leave commints. commenté... comdiments.... those funky little text boxes filled with love... i really do appreciate them!

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed, let me know in a comment! Thanks for reading, even if it is a bit short. Jon is okay obv in case u were worried. Poor man just experienced and Emotion and didn’t know what to do lol


End file.
